Telling off, time out and just plain old ignoring – all tried and tested methods for reining in our wayward children, but how do we deal with adults who insist on behaving like sleep deprived pre-schoolers on a sugar rush?

Frances, 42, from London, admits to deploying the same tactics she uses on her four-year-old son and one-year-old daughter on her husband. 'When we're having a heated discussion, I do all the things I do with the children when I'm trying to reason with them - looking him straight in the eye and trying not to raise my voice. I don't know if it works or not, and there are times when I would like to put him on the naughty step!'

Office worker Siobhan, 37, from Surrey, reveals that when her domineering manager goes into overdrive, she deals with her in the same way as she does her two-year-old daughter, Una. 'I have a very fussy boss who likes to micro-manage. I tend to talk to her in the way I do when I'm explaining something to Una that I know she might not like. It's slow and considered and explains step by step what I'm doing, to head off any complaints at the pass. That way she can't throw a tantrum in the middle of the day because I'm not paying her enough attention!'

Parenting skills are always useful. As a successful manager and the father of three boys, Ian Durston ('Everything I Need to Know about Being a Manager, I Learned From my Kids', Piatkus, £9.99) is a firm believer in using the skills we have gained as parents in other areas of our lives. From working with disruptive colleagues to dealing with needy friends or non-communicative partners, Ian says that parenting skills can come in useful in all walks of life. 'It's all about dealing with people, albeit little ones,' he says, 'And the things we learn when "managing" our children are just as relevant when it comes to managing the taller people too!'

Ian Durston's top tips for dealing with...

The disruptive co-worker
Don't be afraid of confronting the person (in private) about their behaviour - if it is having a detrimental effect on other people's work you are within your rights to do so, just as you would if your child was behaving in the same way. Set the person objectives so they don't have the time to be disruptive. They are a very powerful way of making sure people are focused on what's good for the business.

The non-communicative partner
Set aside some time to actively talk about whatever is on your mind. Don't let it get lost in the noise of everyday life. When it's clear that one of my kids isn't listening, I take them to one side to talk to them close up, face to face, and get them to acknowledge what has been said. No need to be quite as direct with your partner, but it's the same idea.

The friend with 'issues'
Try and use 'active listening' - the process of talking problems through with somebody but ensuring that the ownership of the issue/task stays with them. For example, when you help children with homework, it is far better if you guide them through it, but never actually give them the answer directly – they should work this out for themselves. Likewise, listen and sympathise with your friend, but don't let them dump their problems on you.

The domineering mother/mother-in-law
The common reaction is to shut out or exclude the person. Better to remember, though, the power of attention and praise. Most people who behave this way are looking for some attention in the same way as children do. If you give them just enough to keep their egos massaged, they will hopefully enjoy the flattery and leave you alone a bit more to get on with things in your own way.

The colleagues or friends who make you feel inferior
There will always be people who will be better than you at certain things. However, nobody respects the parent who gets jealous of their child when they start to get better at a hobby or school subject – and parents like that do exist. Work/life/parenting is about being competent at a wide range of skills, not being an expert in a few. Be confident in yourself and ignore people who don't understand this.

Getting good service
When I first started disciplining my eldest child, I shouted at him and found he just shouted back. It got us nowhere. Anger is not constructive in negotiation. It is possible to recognise this and make a conscious decision not to let your emotions get out of control. Far more constructive to explain to somebody they are making you feel angry and to work out what can be done to stop this, rather than to bawl and shout.

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