A woman who wants the average 2.4 children will spend 20 years of her life trying not to get pregnant. By the time you're in your 30s, you think you know what contraception works for you and what doesn't. But you're not wearing the same clothes you wore when you were 18 or driving the same car: so should you be using the same birth control?

Next to teenagers, women in their 40s have the highest proportion of unplanned pregnancies of any age group, according to the US Agency for International Development.

If the thought of another set of school fees breaks you out in a cold sweat, it might be worth reassessing your options. When days are filled with kids, work and how many lunchboxes to make the next morning, it can be hard to get in the mood for sex. Your contraception shouldn't make it more difficult, so find the method that's least burdensome to your sex life. So what are your options?

Condoms

Pros: They work, protect against pregnancy and STDs and can recall memories of early fumblings

Cons: They can recall memories of early fumblings... They also smell of rubber, can be a fiddly and a turn off. Try explaining when the kids ask, 'what are these funny rubber bands Mummy?' If your man's a keeper, it might be worth looking at something more long term, like...

The Pill

Pros: Combined or single, it's a trusty favourite, the little pink packet that's been with you through thick and thin. Pregnancy is prevented as there are no eggs to fertilize and and the mucus of the cervix is thickened to further discourage swimmers. Women on the pill have regular, manageable periods and are protected against ovarian and uterine cancers as well as endometriosis. Some greatly improve skin for the mature acne sufferer

Cons: You have to take it. Every day. There can also be side effects, such as weight gain, headaches, mood swings and nausea. Whilst you may get used to it, you are actually interfering with your natural cycle. So how about...

The Diaphragm
These have to be fitted in a clinic - you're given a 'size-trial' dummy one for a week that can't be used for contraception. You then go back to the clinic, do a bit more squatting and fishing about with your GP until you get the right fit.

Pros: They're re-useable, cost effective, and pretty reliable. Fitted by a health professional, you can then pop it in whenever the mood takes you. A diaphragm is left in place for at six hours after intercourse so there's no getting up and rushing around required

Cons: Toxic shock syndrome can occur if the diaphragm is left in place for more than 24 hours. If you lose more than half a stone in weight it won't work: the fat around the vagina is decreased so the slippery little sperm can swim through the gap. Diaphragms also have high passion killer ratings: 'Don't mind me, darling, I just need to insert a small flying saucer up my ladies bits…'

The Sponge

Pros: A disposable, disc-shaped polyurethane piece of spermicide-loaded foam covers the cervix, trapping sperm, and provides protection for 12 hours

Cons: The typical failure rate for the sponge is 11% and it's higher for women who have already given birth. The idea of being a bit baggy and having a sponge in a place you'd rather not, might just be enough to put you off the whole idea. Who's for a nice cup of tea instead? You might prefer to think about...

The Injection

Pros: The injectable hormone progesterone is an effective form of hassle-free birth control, and it's reversible. A doctor gives you an injection in the muscle of your upper arm, buttocks or thigh every 3 months and you're covered

Cons: It can take a while for your fertility to get back to normal and can feel fairly invasive. If you're scared of needles, don't even go there. And if you're not, there might be a better solution...

Implants

Pros: This where match-sized plastic rods are inserted in the upper arm under local anaesthetic at the doctor's. They release a constant dose of progesterone that stops ovulation for 3-5 years and is more reliable than sterilization. The implants can be removed at any time if you decide you want to become pregnant

Cons: They use a really big needle to get that matchstick in your arm and you can see and feel it under your skin. Do you really want to share your contraception with the world? It's a bit like wearing your diaphragm as a hat or condoms (unused) as earrings…

The Coil

Pros: This flexible plastic device with a copper wire is inserted into the uterus and prevents the sperm from fertilizing the egg. It stays put for up to five years and coils are 98% successful at preventing pregnancy

Cons: A Coil or Inter Uterine Device (IUD) stops the lining of the uterus developing because it is a foreign body. Your uterus things 'Hang about, she can't have a baby right now, there's a ruddy bit of metal in here!' You have to have an operation and there is a risk of pelvic inflammatory disease during the three months after insertion. So is there a better way?

The Iinra-uterine system
This is a thinner, plastic version of the coil that sits at the top of the cervix and contains local acting progesterone to stop the lining of uterus developing.

Pros: It takes your GP five minutes insert and is no worse than having a smear test. You can't feel it during sex (unlike older coils where gentlemen complained of feeling a tickle!), and they last for five years. It is painless to remove and you're fertile again as soon as it's out.

Cons: You might experience irregular bleeding for the first three months, and side affects like headaches, spotty skin have been reported.

Then there are the permanent, 'put the Mothercare catalogue down and move away from the Bugaboo' type contraceptive solutions...

Vasectomy

Pros: You don't have to do a thing, let him worry about it for a change. Once you and your partner agree that you have all the children you want, a doctor can surgically interrupt the flow of sperm from the vas deferens to his penis. His testosterone levels won't change and he'll still be able to ejaculate as normal

Cons: Not one to be considered if your relationship's less than stable. It's a big commitment and your partner shouldn't count on having children later by having a reversal. He may need lots of reassurance to counter macho myths that a vasectomy will make them 'less of a man'

Sterilization

Pros: This is for keeps, no more babies for you, just shut the bedroom door and enjoy yourself

Cons: Sterilization has a one in 200 failure rate and has to be performed using keyhole surgery under general anaesthetic. It's non-reversible and can be unpleasant so think about how important this is for you. You won't be able to have babies any more, but may still get irregular bleeding and heavy menstrual flow. Which might interfere with your new hobby…

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