She sees the effects of extreme poverty every day, and deals with desperate people who will do anything to raise their standard of living. But Caroline's own beginnings were very different.
Raised in Singapore, the daughter of a Naval Engineer, she had a big house, maids:
'We everything we could want'.
It was a sheltered existence but not idyllic by any means. Caroline's father was an aggressive drinker who regularly cheated on her mother and one day she witnessed him beating her mother up. 'It was terrible but my mother was trapped.'
'She had no skills, no money, nowhere to go and three young children.'
It wasn't until her father divorced her mother and left the family penniless that Caroline says she and her two sisters really began to live. Caroline was sent to the United World College in Singapore where they placed a great emphasis on ethics and equality. 'This was nothing I'd ever heard before and it really stuck with me. When I grew up I knew I wanted to do something to help. I also knew that I never wanted to be stuck in a situation like my mother's.'
Caroline pursued her independence and went to university in the States, but her absent father still had a huge grip over her and her two sisters.'All three of us got into long term relationships with men who were no good for us, who lied and cheated and were aggressive, just like our dad. Looking back, some part of me was seeking to recreate that.'
'Fortunately we all came to our senses and ended up with really kind and mellow men.'
Caroline met Brendan, a university lecturer, and they had two children, Camille and Aine. She began training as a social worker but balancing work and family wasn't easy. 'With Camille I was at home a lot and gave her lots of attention but by the time Aine came along work had really taken off and I wasn't able to give her so much time. It's something Caroline felt guilty about and she says that she can tell the difference in her relationships with her daughters now. 'I find it difficult sometimes, (with Aine, now six) it's as though she's rejecting me for it.'
Caroline was invited to the UK to work for Save the Children and then joined the Children's Refugee Council. It's an immensely rewarding job but one that places great emotional strain on Caroline.
'You're dealing with people every day who are scared, very needy, sometimes aggressive, always desperate.'
As well as the organisational demands of the job it's impossible not to get emotionally involved. 'I give to them,' says Caroline, 'and then come home and give to my children.' When her mother died last year, all she wanted to do was grieve, 'but I couldn't: I had to go to work. I felt like there wasn't any more of me to give.'
She believes that this 'dual-giving' a real problem for women in caring profession – especially for those with families.
'Colleagues without children have no clue what having a family involves.'
'I wasn't able to give her so much time and now it's as though she's rejecting me for it'
'I'm not allowed to complain because there's intolerance and it's tricky with female colleagues where there's a degree of jealousy.'
We may be living in a more equal society but housework is still women's work in many households. 'I love my husband and wouldn't change him for anyone, but he also drives me up the wall,' she says. 'He doesn't pull his weight, he'll walk past the laundry basket on the stairs, even stack things around it –it just won't occur to him to pick it up and actually do anything with it.' This makes Caroline value her mother more for keeping their home immaculate and raising three daughters on her own.
'If I could go back to when I was 20 I'd show my mother a lot more respect.'
'When I was young I'd go out until all hours and not tell her where I was going. I thought she was being nagging and strict but now when I see my own children go out and worry about every little thing I am appalled by the way I treated her.'
Seeing refugee children on a daily basis, many who have children themselves, makes Caroline worry about her children, 'more than most mums, I think'. 'I want more for them; I don't want them to be saddled with a baby at 16, or to have to grow up too early. The work I do makes you realise just how precious childhood is.'
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