'There wasn't a history of military careers in my family,' explains Dawn McCafferty. 'All of my friends wanted to do the usual things and go on to college after they left school, but I always knew I wanted to do something different.'

But coming from an all-girls' school to the first day of officer training within the RAF was a bit of a shock – mainly because of all the men in the room when she walked in. She soon started to toughen up, and some of the officers she trained with became her best friends. But it wasn't all plain sailing. Dawn failed the leadership module of the course.

'It was a real jolt to be told I wasn't good enough. But this made me even more determined to succeed.'

'I went back to take the exam again,' says Dawn. She graduated six weeks later and began a varied period in her life, taking up different roles within the RAF. From working in accounts in Scotland, to canvassing new recruits by visiting schools across five counties in England, to a spell on Ascension Island, off the Falklands, Dawn ended up working as aide de comp to one of the top Vice Marshalls in the RAF – a very good career move she now observes.

Several postings on RAF bases followed, and Dawn rose through the ranks – 'through having the right attitude, being in the right place, working hard, and,' she adds humbly, 'being lucky'.

Dedication to the job calls for sacrifices. Dawn believes that her demanding career would have taken a much harder toll had she married a 'civilian' – 'obviously people within the RAF do it, but it does make things more difficult'. Dawn also believes that if her husband had harboured similar career ambitions, the marriage might not have survived.

'Life would have been difficult if I married somebody who was as determined and career driven as I am.'

'My husband is much more chilled and laid back - whereas I want to achieve everything I can.' Her husband also took on the larger part of the child rearing, picking up the children from nursery and staying home while Dawn worked long hours.

While pregnant, Dawn wondered how she would react to a baby. She was on a steep career progression to the top – 'but what if hormones kicked in and I suddenly wanted to be a stay-at-home mum?' That didn't happen.

'Within an hour of my daughter being born I was ready to go back to work.'

'I'm not a baby person, I love my children, but I'm not really maternal. I felt constrained at home, I needed my team and was desperately looking forward to going back.' Back at work the promotions continued and as senior officer she was selected for a year's training course. It involved being away from home during the week, and sometimes at weekends – a difficult period.

'I worried that I wasn't getting the balance right, that I was compromising on all fronts – I wasn't being a good mum or a good wife, but my husband said just go for it.'

Promoted to Wing Commander at 34, with two children to mother in a male dominated world, Dawn faced a struggle. She would be sitting in through executive meetings after being up all night with the children – 'trying not to show how tired I was'.

'It can be lonely as a working mum at the top, there aren't many people to confide in, nobody above my rank is a mother. It is a privilege to lead the way, but there is also a pressure to get it right – I don't want to fall on my face, and I don't want to let others down who are following in my footsteps.

Now one of the youngest Group Captains –at just 39 – with a daughter of ten and son of six she admits it gets harder. 'The family need me more as they get older, and it's beginning to eat away at my conscience. But I feel I have been a very positive role model for my children as a working mother – and if I do come out of the air force, I certainly won't just be sitting at home.'

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