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21 November 2008
parentskills
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A very public dad
 
Darren Gough talks fatherhood
International cricketer Darren Gough famously turned down the chance to play for his country to spend more time with his family

Celebrity dads - more stories

darren gough
Taking a break from cricket also gave him the chance to take part in the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing series, which he went on to win – his answer to combining fitness and family! With two sons of his own, he shares his parenting experience.

Being a parent yourself, have you ever asked for help? If so, who have you sought advice from?

I think it is important for any mum or dad to ask for help if they need it. Raising kids is an important job – the most important thing you will ever do in your life, so it is crucial to try and do the best job possible. There are so many parenting bodies out there that can help if you need it, or sometimes even a family member or friend will be able to help you.

I often speak with the boy's grandparents for advice, tips and tricks. The way I see it is that no one is perfect, but I try as hard as I can to improve even on a daily basis.

What are some of the personal benefits and rewards of spending time with your children?

As a father, it is not just about having a baby and that is it. That is the easy part. Being a father is an ongoing learning process, whereby you are building a loving relationship for life with your child.

I am not a perfect father by any means and I often make mistakes, but I always try and that is the important thing. Every day is a new day and I am always trying to become a better dad for my two boys.

I personally find it very rewarding to spend time with my boys and I really enjoy their company. Kids grow up so quickly and it is important to me that we have an open relationship so that they can share their problems openly with me.

When my marriage broke up a few years ago, I had to evaluate my role in the family and how I wanted to be involved in the kid's lives. The mother of my children is an amazing lady and does a wonderful job, but it is crucial for me and my sons that I have an active hands-on approach in their upbringing. I want them to want to spend time with me.

Over the last few years we have done so many things to help communicate with each other. We used to eat with the TV on but now we turn it off so that we can talk and enjoy each other's company. This was hard at first but now everyone is used to it and looks forward to meal times.

I have always read to them at night and find that a great opportunity to chat with them as well. I'd like to think that when my boys reach 18 years old, they won't move out and only visit once a month, but we continue this close relationship. Nothing makes me prouder than hearing my kids say 'I love you' and giving me a hug.

My parents were wonderful people and made so many sacrifices for my brother, my sister and me. My parents both worked but they made time for hobbies, our education and us. If it wasn't for their love and support, I don't think I would have become as successful in life.

As a professional sportsman who is often away from home playing for my country, I cherish the time spent with my two sons. Whenever possible I have quality time with them and make sure that, during that time, they are the centre of my attention. There are lots of easy things to do - whether it is playing cricket in the back yard, going quad biking together, walking them to school or chatting about their day. These things show your kids that you care.

I had a great upbringing, my parents loved me to bits and sacrificed everything so that I would succeed in life but, for my father in particular, open communication was not easy.

As a father of two young boys, 11 & 8 years old, I want to bring them up so that open communication is never an issue. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, whereby problems can be shared, discussed and solved. It is important to me that they grow up to feel comfortable saying 'I love you' or giving me a hug without being embarrassed. I want this to be normal behaviour.

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