Teen years can be very difficult, particularly for girls, who may feel under pressure to conform to a certain body image. Bombarded by media images of stick-thin celebrities in newspapers and magazines, a recent worrying trend is the rise of an online community set up to promote anorexia and bulimia as valid choices for girls (and some boys) who want to lose weight.

These are discussion groups and forums for pro-anorexics (pro-ana) and pro-bulimics (pro-mia), where those with an eating disorder unite. Pro-anas believe eating disorders are lifestyle choices, opposing the medical view that they are illnesses that need treatment. Forget Britney Spears or Girls Aloud, members post images of extremely thin or emaciated people onto the sites as their idols.

What's as worrying are the sites' names: Starving for Perfection, The Thin Files and I Love You To The Bones. The message boards are peppered with motivational statements for those with an eating disorder, ranging from 'Hey, I need help throwing up, any tips? Email me!' to 'Can I get tips on being bulimic?'

Food for thought

As parents, we are keen to make mealtimes sociable events: food is not an issue, nor should it be. On pro-ana sites, it's entirely different. Many offer a 'safe' food list, primarily consisting of leafy greens and vegetables with a high water content, such as lettuce or cucumber.

Water, tipple to the stars, is promoted as a weight-loss enhancer, something to fill you up so you don't need to eat. They even give advice about avoiding food and achieving the 'minimum calorie' day.

Gone into hiding

At their most popular, there were hundreds of pro-ana websites, but they've been less visible since 2005. Critics argue it's because there are fewer sites or because many have gone underground and continue to flourish. 'Pro ana/mia websites attempt to create the illusion of a bonded, supportive community,' says a spokesperson from eating disorder organisation Bodywhys.

'In reality, they offer no life-affirming support and have the potential to be hugely destructive. The messages put out on these sites tend to normalise eating disorders, often promoting them as a lifestyle choice. They also create and/or reinforce unhealthy beliefs.'

Proper treatment

We all know the importance of adequately and sensitively treating those with eating disorders, but it's clear these sites are ignoring some important issues. Treating sufferers requires a team of professionals, as well as the comfort and support of parents and family. At a time when obesity regularly dominates the headlines and the pressure is on to persuade teens to be weight-conscious, there's a real danger more young people will take these sites' advice to extremes.

What to do:

If you are concerned about your teenager, who may be accessing pro-ana/mia websites or suffering from an eating disorder:

It is essential you become informed; this will help to develop an understanding of what your child might be experiencing and why they're behaving as they are

Do not judge or criticise; part of the draw of these sites is that those who use them feel accepted

Voice your concerns and ask your child to help you understand why they do what they do. Listen and accept what you hear as valid. Let them know you're willing to support them in whatever way possible

If you can, guide your teen towards healthier alternatives, such as support offered by reputable organisations

Be a healthy role model; a mother who is constantly dieting is setting a bad example or the father who makes jokes is sending a message that thinner is better. Adopt a sensible attitude towards eating and don't talk about 'good' and 'bad' food

Make mealtimes relaxed; family meals should be something to look forward to, not something to worry about. Let your child associate food with socialising rather than tension

Bond; adolescence is a transitional period that makes many feel insecure and vulnerable. Make sure your teen knows you accept her for who she is

Refer to the media and explain that models we see on TV or in magazines are not 'real'; their flaws have been removed or their body reshaped. Emphasise that changing your body to conform with others does not bring happiness.

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