Back in the day when blackberries were messy delights we ate from backyard bushes, my mates and I paid board to our parents once we started earning our own wage. But when I recently broached the issue with my now wage-earning 18-year-old daughter, she looked at me as if she'd wear this as much as she would a WHAM! T-shirt. How on earth would she save for her Vietnam trip at the end of the year, she wailed? And none of her friends' parents asked something so inordinate of them.

So, this brooding, bemused parent began wondering if this meant her daughter had already ensconced herself in the much-critiqued generation Y who, some analysts say, consider parental support to be perpetual while they subscribe to a 'live it up, now' attitude.

But Jayne Pearl, author of 'Kids and Money: Giving Them the Savvy to Succeed Financially' (Bloomberg Personal Press, £9.99), tells me that this outlook – à la mode or not - is one worth trying to dismantle.

'It gives them a false sense of the world and of their entitlement, and prevents them from learning about how to make necessary tradeoffs, delay gratification, and distinguish between needs and wants,' she says. 'When such children get out on their own and face the likes of rent, utility bills, insurance etc, their standard of living plummets and they are unprepared emotionally or financially to handle these very basic stresses,' she says. Phew!

Figures released in 2005 by the Consumer Credit Counselling Service, add weight to her words as they revealed an increasing number of under-25s are seeking bankruptcy as they struggle to cope with their debts.

Individual needs

So for kids who are earning and no longer studying, Pearl says there is definitely a case for paying board as it helps foster financial independency and responsibility. But she doesn't believe there's a board-paying blueprint, and each family's circumstances need to be taken into account. What they contribute might depend on how much they are pitching in around the home, how much the family actually needs the extra cash input, and if they are saving by themselves.

University of Sydney's, Associate Professor Andrew Martin, who is author of 'How to Help Your Child Fly Through Life' (available at www.capersbookstore.com.au), agrees. 'If your child is a full-time worker, then a bit of board is reasonable. But perhaps cutting a deal with them so that they pay some board and save the balance to put towards an investment or major purchase they value might suit also.'

Making no bones about it

But how do you explain to a carefree kid that pitching in for loo paper is as important as layin-by a PS3 or a night out at a swanky club? Mother of six Marie Wright, who's always advocated that her children work and pay their way unless they go onto higher education, says. 'I remember sitting down with my oldest son (then 16) and showing him my income and outgoings so that he could appreciate the costs involved in running a home. His board depended on his income and outgoings too and by this method we were able to negotiate amicably.'

Wright says this has benefited him immensely as he now, at just 20, has a house of his own with a mortgage he manages well.

With Vicki Gwosdz's daughters being only three and 16 months, the issue of paying board is years away. But she and her husband have already resolved they'll teach them 'parental support ends at a certain point in time'. She says 'Once they start working we'll ask them to pay board, but for the first year, we'll put this into a savings account which they will receive when they move out. After the first year, we'll consider the board as a contribution toward the household costs.'

She adds: 'If they're struggling or unemployed for a longer period of time, they can always count on us. But we feel that an introduction into real life is as much a part of parenting your child as is potty training or weaning.'

As for any spats about none of their friends having to cough up a bit of cash, Gwosdz says: 'The 'someone else does it this way' argument is not acceptable in our house.'

Studies and part-time work

So what if our kids acquire part-time or summer jobs while they're still studying? While the pay won't be lucrative, should they be expected to chip in for household expenses?

Prof Martin says: 'My view is one where they shouldn't pay board as student teenagers. But then if they want to have excessive time on the internet or phone, go to special events (eg music festivals), or want a pizza after eating the dinner you've cooked them, then they can put money towards those 'extras'.'

Jayne Pearl says: 'If the child is still a student, the family is financially well off (at least not to need the child's contribution), and if they are in the habit of saving regularly, then I don't believe it's a necessary learning experience for them to pay board.'

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